First published on Medium
Recently while watching the movie Gangubai Kathiawadi, I was kind of taken aback by the valiancy of the character. The movie discusses one of the taboo topics in our society that is shunned by the mention of its name. It’s peculiar how we dismiss the social actions embedded by us in our societies and conveniently prefer to stay away. Nevertheless, the discussion here is not about the profession, but the message from the story.
The movie although is cinematographed in the extravagant style of Sanjay Leela Bhansali with larger than life sets, actors ingrained into the characters bringing life into the role and an extensive playlist of genre-specific songs — all of these which might make the storytelling very glamorous. But alas, the reality talks differently.
The script extracted from the book ‘Mafia Queens of Mumbai’ written by S. Hussain Zaidi is a real person’s account ‘Gangubai Harjeevandas’ , a prostitute in the Kamathipura area of Mumbai during the 1960s. She had worked as a Social activist who worked for well-being of sex workers and orphans. Rarely do we see such powerful women-centric roles in Cinema, with a highly sensitive but relevant topic which is worth lauding, as it inspires women to stand for their fate and communities.
The character is a strong portrayal of courage, sacrifice and persistence which promises to change the fate of thousand females. Her determination to settle for the life she’s thrown into and fight for rights of others clearly shows why we should not give-up in our lives over petty issues as we might be destined for bigger plans (the story although is female-centric, but the principles are applicable across the human race as a whole).
Often, we struggle and drift off into periods of self-denial, depression, aloofness etc. as we start believing that our struggles are not worth fighting for. But, coming across such characters makes us feel shrunk while we celebrate our self-proclaimed miseries (which we brag about unapologetically) to mostly attain sympathy or attention. But little do we realize the damage we do to our inner-self. This triggers a series of backlashes where we are termed reclusive, insensitive, arrogant or at times mental. Clearly, we can avoid this by being little aware of ourselves and not falling prey to the situation.
The lead role in the reel life shows her struggles where she accepts life in the brothel and fights for survival. Her fight for others while sacrificing her own interest has been truly exemplified by Alia Bhatt in the main lead.
While this would be too much to achieve in real life, there are some other things we might need to do (quickly) to stop the damage we cause to ourselves:
- Stop Self-pity — There is a very old saying which goes — “God helps those who helps themselves” (Cliched but it makes a lot of sense). We live in an era where stepping onto other’s turf to climb the ladder is in vogue, so pitying ourselves and leaving up to others as to how to treat us might lead to more damage than do some good. So, stop Self-pity right away.
- Remove all the toxicity from our lives — This includes people as well as things; as decluttering is the first rule to attain peace of mind. Ignoring things which discourage and disrespect our thoughts would ensure we eliminate the negativity around us. There is enough war in the world, why to provide room for more inside us!
- Talk to ourselves as to what went so wrong — We need to ask us that why we left our own charge and let the world decide our fate — this pep talk to our inner self might have to be done in a very selfish manner to understand that nothing is more important than ourselves. This might reveal layers of truth and let us dig deeper into our scars.
- Seek for help — Help here is not necessarily therapy from a Shrink. It could be talking to someone trustworthy, whom we think might be able to assess our minds & situations and guide us logically out of the trouble zone. It could be a friend, acquaintance, parents or anybody whom we trust — basically anyone we feel safe and comfortable opening up to.
- Indulge into some self-love — This step might sound selfish again, but it is fundamental to come out of the trouble zone as it would help us explore unknown zones within us. We might find a new self (see my post on self-love) which we are ready to embrace and this new self might actually be an inspiration for others someday.
Doing these small quick fixes will slowly guide us out of the black-hole we have fallen into (knowingly or unknowingly) and we can surely find ourselves back, possibly in a new Avatar!
“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self.” Aristotle
AN URBAN LENS 